Commentary: To recline or not to recline – why we feel so strongly about airplane etiquette

SINGAPORE: It’s often said that the root cause of all conflicts boils down to ideological differences, competition for scarce resources, or just plain old insanity.
If so, then an airplane cabin would be the perfect tinderbox. Case in point: An incident in September on a Cathay Pacific flight, where a couple took exception to the passenger in front of them reclining her seat. Their subsequent torrent of verbal abuse and physical harassment, caught on video and posted on social media platform Xiaohongshu, earned them a lifetime ban from the airline.
We can have endless debates over the circumstances in which it’s appropriate to recline your seat, but really, it’s just one of many potential flashpoints in air travel these days.
What about turf wars over armrests, or control of the window shade? If a middle seat is empty, how should the aisle and window passengers divide the spoils? Is it best practice for parents to hand out care packages, or does that set a dangerous precedent of apologising for having children?
When passengers have to spend long hours together in tight spaces, it’s no wonder everyone quickly forms strong opinions about airplane etiquette.
To be sure, airlines deserve part of the blame. While First and Business Class cabins get more and more luxurious, the situation in Economy Class has steadily deteriorated.
Airlines have been shrinking seats and reducing seat pitch (the distance between a seat and the one in front of it) to cram more passengers into the same aircraft. The unbundling trend, where perks which were once included for free are now chargeable, has progressively spread from budget carriers to full service ones.
The end result, unsurprisingly, is all-out war.
Because personal space is at a premium, any intrusion is more acutely felt. Because checking a bag is expensive, fights break out over limited overhead bin space. Because meals aren’t free, some passengers bring their own- and not everyone appreciates the smell of your favourite food as much as you do. Because selecting a seat costs money, not everyone does so, creating onboard drama when they demand that others switch seats to accommodate them.
Sadly, there’s no sign of things abating. Every aircraft interiors expo sees the debut of slimmer and tighter seats, such as the infamous Aviointeriors Skyrider 3.0, a standing bicycle-like contraption straight from the works of Marquis de Sade.
Closer to home, when Singapore Airlines finally replaces its ageing Boeing 777-300ERs with new Boeing 777-9s, it’s almost a given that the national carrier will go from 9-across seating in Economy Class to 10-across, reducing seat width accordingly.
The cabin pressure, so to speak, is only going to increase.
Airlines will counter that passengers are no angels themselves, and they’re not wrong. Even if personal space and creature comforts were provided in abundance, the core issue of selfishness would still remain.
Technological advancements have put a smartphone into the hands of every traveller – but not everyone is considerate enough to watch movies with headphones. In-seat charging lets you land with a fully-charged battery- assuming your seatmate doesn’t hog the outlet. State-of the-art HEPA filters keep the cabin air clean- though that doesn’t help if the sick person next to you refuses to mask up.
Now, it would be marvellous if open communication, graciousness and compassion prevailed. But you’ll forgive me for being more cynical, because my faith in humanity disappeared when a fellow passenger decided to put his phone alarm on perpetual snooze, waking the cabin every 10 minutes while he happily snored away.
So a better approach would be, like French philosopher Sartre, to assume that hell is other people and prepare accordingly.
If personal space is a concern, some airlines offer the option of purchasing an empty middle seat (but that could open another can of worms, if a passenger feels entitled to use the space that you’ve paid for). Alternatively, buying a seat in the emergency exit row ensures that your legroom remains unimpeded, because the seats in front often don’t recline.
Noise-cancelling headphones and earplugs go some way to drowning out snoring and loud conversations, and an eye-mask can be a lifesaver if your seatmate insists on keeping the reading light on throughout the night.
And if push comes to shove, don’t take matters into your own hands. Seek help from the flight attendants, who are trained in de-escalation.
Alternatively, you could, as I do, obsessively collect frequent flyer miles in the hope of escaping to the pointy end of the plane – though that’s no guarantee of civility, as I discovered on a recent Business Class flight where a fellow passenger hyena-laughed her way through every movie.
When it’s all said and done, flying is a microcosm of human behaviour under pressure, a test of patience and restraint in a confined and stressful environment. While it would be lovely if empathy and good manners carried the day, the reality is that in close quarters, every small annoyance gets magnified.
Beyond a certain point, all you can do is grin and bear it, and try to get to your destination with as little turbulence as possible.
Aaron Wong is the founder of travel website The MileLion.